Who knows what the future may bring?

This morning, I came across this article: http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/health/strong-enough-to-venture-out-after-18-years-thanks-to-home-care-scheme

It frightened me a bit.

The woman in the article has Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 2. That is exactly the same condition I have.

She is in her 30s now. Her mother is her full-time caregiver and is in her 60s. This is similar to what my situation with my parents will be when we reach that age.

I am 11 birthdays away from hitting the big "3 0" mark.

The trouble with SMA is that it worsens over time. Basically, sufferers get weaker as the days go by.

I used to be able to write fairly quickly without sacrificing on legibility, but now rely on a computer to produce anything that humans can read. Even then, I have to use a utility app called the On-Screen Keyboard to type as my arms are not strong enough to manoeuvre around the actual keyboard.

As I grow older it seems like I am losing my abilities more often. Nowadays I get fatigued very easily and can only drive my motorised wheelchair a short while before my arm and hand become too tired to continue.

In other words, SMA is slowly but surely robbing me of the little independence I do possess.

When I read the Straits Times article, what really struck me was that when I reach that age, I could very well end up like that woman: bedridden and homebound, completely helpless and unable to even sit up and use the computer properly, and drinking all my nutrients through a tube in my neck.

Imagine that. No video games (I know the article says she plays Facebook games, but those are not the type of "serious" games I like), no writing, no outings, and no delicious hawker food.

My parents will be old and will STILL be stuck with me, waiting on my every need, even more than they do today.

No. That is nothing like the future I want. I envision myself having a decent and stable job, earning an income so I can buy lots of nice things for my parents.

But none of us can defy the force of ageing. For me, though, the biological clock ticks by at warp speed.

I can only hope that I have enough juice left in the tank for me to achieve my life goals, before hopefully going quietly and peacefully into the darkness.

And if the plan falls apart? Well, that would suck. But no use thinking about it now. It would just be a depressing and futile waste of energy.

One day at a time...