Social media: the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of online behaviour

As some of my regular readers may know, I have an interest in the field of communications and intend to further my studies in that area. I plan to get a job in the industry too, after graduating from university.

So I thought in this post I would talk a bit about online etiquette. This is something that I think is quite lacking, not only in Singapore but all over the internet in general.

As we all know, technology has made radical changes in the way we live our lives, and will continue to do so. Of importance to the communications practitioner is how it has transformed the way we transfer information, interact with one another, and air our opinions in the public sphere.

Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter are no doubt blessings in many ways. For example, in the context of Singapore politics, alternative points of view which may have previously been easily censored by the establishment can now be quickly and widely distributed through Facebook sharing. This has resulted in an unprecedented pushing of the "OB markers", such that freedom of expression and room for debate do exist to a certain degree today. In order to avoid being left behind, or worse, labelled as blatant state-controlled propaganda mouthpieces, mainstream media outlets like The Straits Times have taken care to present both sides when discussing issues of national importance such as the Little India riot (Kaur, Tan, & Dutta, 2016). This demonstrates the power of social media. Besides breaking down barriers and opening up taboo topics, it takes the lead over traditional media sources in charting the future direction of discourse and the exchange of ideas.

However, there is a dark side to this unfettered ability to speak one's mind for the world to see. The convenience of typing out messages on the go, coupled with the anonymity afforded by the virtual space, has made it more tempting than ever to be abusive towards others. Unfortunately, this causes levels of antisocial behaviour that are unacceptably high.

Flaming is a word that has taken on a completely different meaning in the modern times. It used to conjure images of things burning, such as a house on fire or a juicy beef patty on the grill. But now it connotes hate and anger directed at another person, brought to life as a stream of vitriol, typically delivered by a set of fingertips dancing across a keyboard in a dreadful rhythm.

Very often, it is easy to forget that on the other end of the connection lies a living, breathing human being just like us. As a participant in Mishna, Saini, and Solomon (2009) said: "... it might be easier to (say more hurtful comments) because you do not see how much they are hurt by it.”

The problem is even worse for service providers, companies and organisations that have a presence on social media. Because of their "non-human" appearance, frustrated customers and members of the public do not hesitate to hurl torrents of frightful language at them. What everyone fails to realise is that behind every Page is an administrator or group of administrators. Yes! People, as in actual humans, do go through those messages, and feel the pain from them.

I wish people would be more civilised on the internet. The golden rule "Treat others as you want to be treated" applies to our dealings online as well. Before pressing Send on anything, put yourself in the shoes of your counterparty. If you were them, would the message bring about negative emotions? If so, think about how you can phrase your message in a more constructive manner. Robust arguments are always welcome as long as they are conducted in an orderly fashion. That means no personal attacks, swearing, or irrelevant statements.

And please, have a little sympathy for administrators of organisational social media accounts. I have seen first-hand how that job wears people down mentally so bad that it starts to cause their physical health to deteriorate too. They have to be on alert 24/7 thanks to the omnipresence of social media, and constantly walk on eggshells as one wrong move could result in a massive public relations disaster. Hate-filled messages just add insult to injury and are totally unnecessary.

Of course you can give negative feedback about an organisation, but do it with tactful diplomacy. Instead of saying "Your staff's attitude sucks. You are a useless piece of sh*t organisation! Just close down already.", say something like "I was disappointed with the level of service your staff provided. Their dour faces were unpleasant to look at and ruined the ambiance. Perhaps you could consider sending them for some customer service training." Notice how the latter feedback pointed out the problem specifically, and suggested steps for improvement. The former was just insulting.

Given my career aspirations, I take pains to be nice when corresponding with organisations online, as I know that one day, I might be the one on the opposite side of the conversation. So when I am finished talking to a particular organisation for the time being, I always make it a point to thank the person behind the account. Like I said earlier, the work is not easy, so if I can bring a smile to that person's face with a few extra words of appreciation and encouragement, why not? I would certainly love receiving such a message if our roles were reversed.

Our actions online have a very real impact in the offline world. We may not see it and its effects may not be immediate, but believe me when I say it is there. People have lost their lives because of events that happened on the internet. Social media has so much potential for good... But it can also be used for evil.

Which side will you stand on?

References:

Kaur, S., Tan, N., & Dutta, M. J. (2016). Media, migration and politics: The coverage of the Little India Riot in The Straits Times in Singapore. Journal of Creative Communications, 11(1), 27-43.

Mishna, F., Saini, M., & Solomon, S. (2009). Ongoing and online: Children and youth's perceptions of cyber bullying. Children and Youth Services Review, 31(12), 1222-1228.